America for President
by genericnamehere
Summary: Sick and tired of being sick and tired, America decides to do something about it. gradual de-anon from kink meme
1. Chapter 1

America for President 1

Alfred sniffled then blew his nose, as he lay huddled in his blankets in bed watching the news. The President was going to be announcing that he was going to run for a second term soon. He felt his stomach lurch as he read the ticker at the bottom of the screen announcing that the other party had chosen their candidate, as well.

He couldn't take much more of this. He was tired of being in a constant state of illness. He was fairly certain he had developed immunities to most over the counter medications by now.

He was tired of other nations holding him responsible for the whims of his bosses. He was tired of doing whatever his bosses and the media wanted. They weren't a true representation of the will of his people! They were just the lesser of two evils for that given term.

He glanced up at the wall, where his own copies of the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution were framed on his wall. This wasn't what he wanted. This wasn't what the people wanted. And as their nation, it was time he did something about it.

With the decision firmly in mind, he jumped out of bed and ran to his closet. If he hurried, he could probably get his boss to let him have a few minutes of press time.

As he pulled on the suit, he wondered about how he would present himself? Should he go with Alfred F. Jones, a regular American citizen? No. No one would care about some guy they never heard of before. He'd have to reveal himself for who he was if he was going to get the attention he wanted.

The other nations would flay him alive, sure, but it was a small price to pay. He was tired of being sick, and he knew they were too! He _had_ to do this. It was his duty as the hero!

He smoothed out his hair and hurried out the door, calling his boss. While confused, his boss agreed easily enough to let him have the floor when he finished speaking. Of course he would. He had no idea what Alfred was planning on saying. Curiosity alone would dictate that he had to be allowed to speak.

Some time later, Alfred stood to the side, listening as the President finished his speech.

"Before you leave today, there is someone else who would like to have a little of your time. I think you'll find that you know him without needing an introduction." The President looked to him and nodded, stepping aside as Alfred walked up to the podium and slapped him on the back heartily.

"Thanks a bunch." Alfred turned to the news reporters, ignoring the flashing lights of the cameras.

"I won't waste your time. I'll just get right to the point. I am Alfred F. Jones, better known as the United States of America. I am sick and tired of being sick and tired, and I'm going to do something about it. As of today, I am establishing my own party, the Independence Party, and announcing that I am running for President in this election. That is all, thank you."

As the reporters clamored to try to get him to answer questions, Alfred stepped down from the platform, smirking a bit as he passed by his absolutely shocked boss.

He didn't have time for his questions right now. He had a campaign to run.


	2. Chapter 2

America for President 2

Arthur dropped his tea cup, not even noticing as it shattered at his feet and the hot tea soaked into his socks. He just stared at the TV, unable to comprehend the absurdity coming out of the reporter's mouth. They were highlighting a clip of the President's speech the other day. Normally, the contents of the speech would hardly be newsworthy in the UK, but this particular clip was not of the President, but of one Alfred F. Jones.

"I've never heard of anything like it before, Jane. Historically, the personifications of nations have taken a very hands-off approach. They don't go around announcing who they are, they don't have decision-making power, and they DON'T get involved in their nation's politics. It just isn't done! They represent the people, not rule over them."

"That's a good point, Richard. However, I have to respectfully disagree with you. Think about what he said. 'I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.' Perhaps there is something to this. Is it possible that decisions that people make can have an effect on the health of their nations?"

"That's a ludicrous notion. If that was true, don't you think someone would have done something about it long ago? Think of all the boneheaded decisions made throughout history. Think of the wars! If it had that kind of effect on the nations, do you really think they would have stood by and watched?"

"Good points, both of you, but that's all the time we have for-"

Arthur flipped the TV and picked up his phone. He had to know what he was thinking.

"Hey, Iggy! What's up? You never call me!"

Arthur's eye twitched. How could he be acting so nonchalant while his face is all over the news?

"What the hell are you thinking? Running for president of the United States? Where did you ever get such an asinine idea? You can't run for President!" He felt his fists clench as Alfred laughed on the other end of the line.

"Sure I can, Iggy! It says so in my Constitution! I have to be at least 35, and a natural born citizen living in the US for at least 14 years. I even have a birth certificate! It's called the Declaration of Independence!"

Arthur blinked a few times then groaned. The idiot had obviously put a lot of thought into this. Maybe he hadn't before he made his statement, but definitely now that he had done it.

"Anyway, Iggy, if you were just calling to lecture me, can we do this another time? I have a press conference soon, and I have to start putting together my campaign staff. See ya!"

Before Arthur had a chance to protest, Alfred had hung up the phone. He sighed and started picking up the broken pieces of his tea cup. This was going to be an interesting election.


	3. Chapter 3

America For President 3

"Hello America." Alfred was sitting on the side of a desk, hands clasped over his knee, clad in a navy blue suit, white shirt, and red tie.

"I'm Alfred F. Jones, and while I may seem like a new face to many of you, I think you'll find you've known me along." He stood, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"It's not everyday that someone decides to run for President of the United States. It's not a decision that should be made lightly," Alfred smiled with a half laugh, "Hey, it took me two hundred and forty years to make this decision myself." He lifted his foot onto the chair, and put a hand on his knee.

"But that's what makes me the most qualified to be your President. Do I have experience in office? No, of course not. But that doesn't mean that I haven't been there for every major decision made in this country since its founding. I've learned from our mistakes, because, just like you, I've felt their consequences."

Suddenly Alfred was walking down a path in a park, with children playing in the background, hands in his pockets again.

"I'm not in this for fame or power. I don't need it. I'll always be here. I'm doing this because I want to help you, the American people." Alfred stopped at a bench and put his foot up on it, with his hand on his knee, taking a moment to watch the children play before looking at the screen again., with a more serious expression.

"When you are suffering, from anything: recession, natural disasters, wars...I suffer, too. I know how you feel. And I know that for too long, too many American's voices have been lost to party lines and politicians just looking to keep their sponsors happy."

The scene cuts again, and Alfred is back in his original position on the desk.

"It's time to say 'No more,' America! This year, remember to vote America, for Americans."

The camera zoomed in on Alfred as he grinned cheekily and gave a thumb up.

"Let me be your hero!"

My name is Alfred F. Jones, and I approve this message. This message has been paid for by the Independent National Committee and the America for Americans Foundation.


	4. Chapter 4

America for President 4

Arthur walked up to Alfred's door and knocked. After a moment, the door opened itself, and he raised a brow, looking at it as he walked inside. Was it some new kind of magic? He'd have to ask Alfred about it. Speaking of him...

"Alfred! Where are you?" He looked around the house. There were all kinds of campaign materials littering the living room. He couldn't believe that he was seriously doing this.

"Arthur..."

He blinked a few times and looked around. Where did that come from? Was the place haunted now? He turned back around towards the door and blinked as Alfred was standing behind him. Something was off about him, though.

"Oh, there you are, Alfred. Are you really going on with this ridiculous charade?" Arthur blinked as Alfred sighed, hanging his head.

"I'm Matthew. I'm Alfred's campaign manager, and yes, he's still going through with this charade."

Arthur blinked a few times. Oh. Now that he mentioned it, he didn't look all that much like Alfred at all. He didn't need to sound so annoyed though.

"Yes, well, where is he then?" Arthur blinked, Matthew's words repeating in his mind again. "_You're_ his campaign manager?"

Matthew flushed as he looked down at the clipboard in his hand. Had that always been there?

"Well, actually, first he asked me to be his Vice President. When I reminded him that I wasn't American, he asked me to be his First Lady. When I punched him, he asked me to do this instead. He's upstairs getting changed. He is giving a speech in Philadelphia in a few hours. Why don't you come with us? I got a call from one of our field operators. Apparently the line to get in is quite long already."

Arthur just blinked a few times. He was still having trouble wrapping his brain around something.

"His First Lady?" Matthew flushed, but before he could say anything else, Alfred walked into the room, adjusting his tie.

"Mattie! Do I really have to wear this- oh hey, Iggy! How's it going?" Before Arthur could answer, he was looking at Matthew. "What else do I have to do today?"

Arthur just watched as Matthew checked his clipboard.

"You said you wanted to meet your volunteer workers, so we're going to stop at your Philadelphia office and bring them pizzas." Alfred nodded, listening, as his phone started ringing. While Matthew turned to answer it, Alfred turned back to Arthur, who sighed, crossing his arms.

"You're certainly into this, aren't you? And how do you plan to handle your responsibilities as a nation if you are elected?" And Arthur didn't want to admit it, but even though the Independence Party was still relatively small, it had an impressive following after only a few weeks. He found himself wondering if Alfred could actually pull this off.

"How hard could it be? I think it would make things a lot easier, don't you? I mean, I get along with most of you guys great, better than my bosses ever got along with yours." Ah, so he hadn't thought of that yet.

"Al!" Matthew hurried over. "You were so right. The Republicans and the Democrats have filed separate suits demanding production of your birth certificate."

Arthur slapped his forehead as Alfred laughed. Who didn't see that coming from a mile away?


	5. Chapter 5

America for President 5

Alfred loosened his tie as he walked out onto the stage, laughing a bit to himself as Matthew yelled at him for it. Nothing he could do about it now! He took the microphone from the stagehand, holding up his other hand in a wave as he walked out to center stage. The crowd was loud as it cheered for him. A group of girls' voices broke out from the side.

"You're our hero! Wooooooo!"

Why didn't he do this sooner?

"Hey everybody! Thanks for coming out today!"

He paused as everyone screamed. After a moment, he held up his hand, motioning for them to quiet down.

"We all know why I'm here today, so we'll get to that later. First, I want to take a minute to acknowledge why YOU are here!"

He motioned over the span of the crowd with his hand.

"You're here, because you're tired! You work hard everyday! Paying your bills. Raising your families. Getting your education." He counted off on his fingers as he spoke.

"And for what? You come home and have people on TV and in the newspaper telling you that you're not good enough because you don't think the way they do." He made a short waving gesture over his head.

"You struggle to pay your bills while others get paid to do nothing, simply on the circumstances of their birth." He waved his free arm in an exasperated motion, before moving it over his heart, clenching it in a fist.

"You go abroad on a hard earned vacation, and have to say you're Canadian to avoid getting spit on." He winced a bit slightly at the thought, before he shook his head and looked up at the crowd again.

"And you're tired of it. Tired of spending your lives working toward the Dream you don't think exists anymore. Tired of having to choose between two extremes that you don't agree with. Tired of being _embarrassed_..." He paused here and swallowed. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Arthur and Matthew standing with attentive looks on their faces.

"...you're tired of being embarrassed to be an American; of being hated for who you are. _You're_ not forcing your life on anyone, but your voice is lost against the people who are."

He fell silent as the crowd burst into another loud round of yelling and cheering.

"And that-!" He waited as the crowd continued cheering. When they showed no signs of stopping, he continued anyway.

"And that's why I'm here, for you! I AM you! I know how you feel, America! When you hurt, so do I! I'm tired of watching as our nation becomes more and more divided. We have forgotten who we are. We forgot how we got here. We have forgotten those very basic principles upon which this country was founded! But I remember. I know. Because I was there."

He ran a hand through his hair. He probably should have written something before he came out here, but it just seemed so ingenuine! What else could he say?

"Every year, every day...more and more of our sons and daughters, our husbands, wives, mothers and fathers...they are sent out to save the world from itself. But...but who is going to save America? Not someone who is merely following his party lines. They won't reach across the aisle to work with the other side. Their ideologies and differences won't allow it. They are only concerned with representing one part of the whole, the part they come from."

He put his hand over his chest again, and he could feel his own voice rising more than he could hear it.

"They don't understand America like I do. And I want to help you take back America, for all Americans! Not just the rich or the poor, not a majority or a minority! You were born here and raised here, all the same! You came from overseas and worked hard to earn that title; to be able to say, 'I am an American!' So let me help you! America, let me be _your_ hero!"

The crowd screamed madly, and some people started blowing foghorns. He looked to the side and couldn't help but laugh. Matthew was using Arthur's shoulder as a wall to bang his forehead on while Arthur was slapping his forehead.

They were just jealous they didn't have an awesome catchphrase.


	6. Chapter 6

America for President 6

Matthew closed Alfred's door behind him quickly, wincing as he glass shattering on the other side. Alfred looked over, frowning.

"Have you seen the Republicans new ad spot, yet?" Matthew shook his head and walked over, turning on the TV and flipping through the channels until he found a channel that was airing it. Sarah Palin was sitting in what appeared to be a kindergarten classroom, surrounded by children, and holding one in her lap.

"...But doncha know, America, there are some candidates that have forgotten the importance of a good, moral upbringing and family togetherness. Our President may have the dearest little children, but his perceived need for political correctness is depriving them of the education they desperately need."

Alfred frowned as he watched her set the child in her lap down and stand. The camera zoomed in a little closer. She just continued to smile, shaking her head slightly.

"And Alfred Jones, the 'personification' of our country. Well, I can certainly tell you this. He is the face of everything that is wrong with this country."

Alfred grabbed the remote and flipped it off before she could start listing off the itinerary of un-Christian morals that set off the mob outside his door. Beside him, Matthew sighed and buried his face in his hands. Alfred looked at him, then looked at his window, where people were holding up signs with various verses from the Bible on them.

"Alright. This isn't a problem, Mattie. It seems bad, but they're just one of those loud minorities I keep talking about. The Republicans are really good at getting that group to yell and moan and make a scene so they get news coverage." Matthew perked up a bit and stood, clapping a hand on Alfred's shoulder.

"That's it! News coverage! You're going to go on TV and answer every biased question against you." Alfred blinked a few times.

"Does that mean...?" Matthew nodded.

"Yes! You're going to be interviewed by Katie Couric. Now, where did I put that number?" He picked up his clipboard and started thumbing through the pages of it.

Alfred looked back to the window and sighed, picking up his phone. He could think of a few nations that would love to ask him demeaning and uncomfortable questions, and he would need that kind of preparation.


	7. Chapter 7

America for President 7

"Alright, Alfred. I called a few nations that I thought would be useful in helping you prepare for your interview. They are just as biased against you as Ms. Couric will be." Alfred nodded as he followed Matthew into the living room. He paused as he saw the three nations seated on the couch, sipping lemonade that Matthew had made for them.

"This is my panel?" Matthew nodded. The nations looked over.

"Oh! America! The other you said that you needed some help with your campaign, da? Of course I was willing to help my little sunflower." There was something sinister about the way Ivan was smiling. Beside him, Yao nodded his agreement and Arthur rolled his eyes. Alfred turned to Matthew.

"This isn't going to be pleasant, is it?" Matthew shook his head as the three nations grinned. Alfred sighed and took a seat in the armchair across from them. "Alright. Hit me with your best shot."

"When am I going to get my money back, aru?" Alfred groaned. It figured Yao would start right in on that.

"Well, you know, Yao. It's a little hard to make money to pay you back when you keep chasing my companies out of the county." Yao scowled.

"Alfred…" Matthew quipped behind him. "Perhaps it would be best if you were a little more diplomatic in your approach. It's fine for us to talk like this amongst ourselves, but you know that Yao's boss isn't going to like an answer like that…" Alfred rolled his eyes and nodded.

"How about the oil leak, Alfred. It may have finally been closed up, but there is still a lot of damage to be cleaned up. How do you propose to fix it?" Alfred glared at Arthur. He did not just bring that up.

"I don't know. Why don't you tell me how iyou/i plan to clean it up, British Petroleum?" Matthew sighed heavily, hanging his head. Arthur sputtered indignantly for a moment.

"Wh-Wh-What? I had nothing to do with this! If your safety regulators had done their jobs properl—" Alfred cut him off as he stood.

"They would have what? Noticed all the ways your company was cutting corners to make a few extra bucks at the expense of danger to the employees and environment? Noticed that your company was ignoring all the signs that something was wrong?" Arthur stood to meet him face to face.

"Is this really how you plan to run your administration? By blaming iyour/i faults on others? It is absolutely unreasonable to expect me to take care of your problems!" Yao stood as well, interjecting himself into the conversation.

"More importantly, you haven't told me how you plan to pay me back, aru!" Ivan watched from where he was seated and calmly set his glass of lemonade on one of the coasters that Matthew had provided.

"America…" He set his hands in his lap and looked at Alfred. "Arthur informed us that you had asked Canada to be your First Lady when you are elected." Alfred blinked a few times as he listened. Arthur and Yao quieted as well, wondering where he was going with this.

"I did do that…" Ivan nodded and stood, pushing Arthur and Yao aside, taking one of Alfred's hands in both of his.

"Why, my little sunflower, have you not asked me?" Arthur and Yao stared for a moment before bombarding Alfred with more questions. Behind them, Matthew slapped his forehead. Alfred stared blankly at the earnest expression Ivan had fixed on him, everything else ignored. He was fairly certain his brain was melting and oozing out his ears.

This interview was going to be a disaster.


	8. Chapter 8

America For President 8

For all that he loved attention, Alfred shifted under the glare of the lights as cameras surrounded him at all angles. Across from him, the woman was smiling as her makeup was touched up, and he was certain he saw something dark there. He resisted the urge to groan as he recalled his preparation. It had ended with all five nations in a fist fight. Amazingly, it had been started by Matthew. He still hadn't figured that one out. He looked to the side, where Matthew was standing with his clipboard, watching as the crew prepared to begin the live interview. If he was nervous, he was hiding it with a surprisingly straight face. He was so focused on watching him that he didn't realize the interview was starting.

"Thank you for sitting down with us today, Mr. Jones." He blinked out of his trance and looked over, giving Ms. Couric a thousand watt smile.

"Well, of course! What else would I be doing?" She blinked a few times before smiling again.

"I hope you don't mind that I start off with the obvious question on everyone's mind. From the moment you first appeared on TV and announced your candidacy during the President's press conference, you said that you are the United States of America. Can you explain ihow/i exactly a person can be the...personification...of a icountry/i?" Alfred grinned. He should have expected that to be an issue.

"It's kinda hard to explain, really. When there are a people with a national identity, we appear. As long as people identify with that nationality, we continue to exist. I'm pretty sure, sitting here with me now, you can feel this is true as crazy as it may sound coming from anyone else." She nodded, and as soon as she had asked her first question, he expected what followed.

"Why would a personification want to lead their own country?" Alfred's smile fell slightly.

"Because I'm sick, Katie. A nation's health is tied to its economy, its military, and its people. So, when the economy is lagging, the military is stretched too thin, and the people are losing faith in the country, I feel all of it. Medicine doesn't work for us like it does for other people." She nodded slowly.

"Alright then. I suppose that would be a good way to lead into the next question. You're great at getting people inspired, motivated, and working for you. But what are they working for? Do you have a policy? On anything?" Alfred smiled, hoping it was convincing.

"Of course I do! I mean, you can't just run on pretty words. You need substance behind them. I have policies on everything. I know what works and what doesn't, because I've lived through every hardship this country has faced. I'm not in this to please my sponsors. I don't have special interests to cater to. I'm saving myself and my people." She nodded, shifting her position.

"Then let's start with one of the most important issues today: the economy. What is your stance on it?" Alfred's heart dropped into his stomach.

"Well, it sucks obviously. Like I just said, that's why I'm doing this." She stared at him for a moment before reiterating.

"Yes, but, what are your plans on how to improve it? Do you think it's possible?" Alfred waved a hand of dismissal.

"If the British royal family can be supported for just one dollar per person per year, I think we can close a trillion dollar deficit in a couple of years." Her head tilted down slightly as she stared at him.

"Are you suggesting that we tax the impoverished American people for $1.5 trillion dollars?" Alfred balked.

"What? Where do you even get something like that from what I said? It's no wonder no one knows what is going on anymore." She raised a brow.

"Pardon? Could you explain that?" Alfred smirked.

"Gladly. I made a statement, which you then picked a word or two out of, twisted the meaning of after taking it out of context, and threw back at me as though I had said it. Now, someone watching this is going to think I said we should just tax the masses, when in fact it was nothing more than media sensationalism taking advantage of the fact that the public relies on them for information. You'll replay that clip over and over until it's drilled into their minds that I want to tax them until they are penniless, when the words never came through these lips." She scowled a bit, shifting in her seat.

"Mr. Jones, I can't help but feel you are blaming the media for all of the country's problems." Alfred shrugged.

"I wouldn't say that it was all of them. It's a little conceited to presume you have that much power, don't you think? Of course, there is a distinct lack of reporting on the $260 million worth of expired swine flu vaccinations. Why is that? Don't want to admit that the media created a panic that led to the waste of all that money over a simple flu? Every year the new strain of flu is a terrible epidemic, when it should be common knowledge that the flu changes to a different strain every year." She cleared her throat, shifting in her seat again.

"Regardless, you still haven't given a definitive policy on anything. Are you planning to sit in the White House and collect $400, 000 a year to do nothing?" Alfred rubbed his chin thoughtfully.

"Is that what the President makes now? Man. Honestly, I was thinking of going with what George did, back in the day. Uh, George iWashington/i that is. He turned down his $25,000 salary. I mean, they eventually got him to take it so the Presidency wasn't limited to rich people that could afford to do that, but it's the principle of the thing. I don't need the money. Certainly not that much." She frowned, raising a brow.

"Right…but that still doesn't—How about foreign policy? The current President has made great advances in our international relations. Can you maintain this trend?" Alfred grinned.

"Well, of course! I have great relations with other countries! Heck, Canada is my campaign manager!" They both looked over at where Canada was standing on the side, hitting his forehead against his clipboard. She shook her head.

"Well, to be sure, the United States has always been proud of its relations with our northern neighbors. But what about the European countries? The middle east? How do you plan to deal with the hostilities there?" Alfred shook his head, smiling.

"Don't worry a thing about Europe. Asia either for that matter. I'm great friends with them! In fact, England, China, and Russia were helping me prepare for this interview! Sure, it ended in a few black eyes, but it was all in good spirits! Russia even asked to be my First Lady."

The television was flipped off. Arthur just sat, staring at the blank screen, remote still pointed at it and clenched in his hand.

"If he actually manages to win this, I will eat Francis's boxers after he's worn them all day."


	9. Chapter 9

America For President 9

"Tonight! Democrats claim our country is playing fast and loose with the rules of our country! Apparently the paper that gave birth to a nation doesn't count as a record of the birth of a nation. Then, my guest, the Empire State himself, says our nation gets sick when politicians play fast and loose with the rules of our country! Who knew that destroying your country would destroy your country? And! How well do your states know themselves? This! Is the Colbert Report."

Matthew turned his attention to the nation sleeping with his head on his lap. He reached down, carefully removing the glasses that were slightly askew on his face. He reached over, carefully sliding the papers that Alfred was holding out of his hands and setting them on the table. He reached behind them, pulling the small throw off the back of the sofa, arranging it over him. As he brushed his fingers though his hair, Matthew sighed. It had been a long week, but they were making amazing progress. Lately, it seemed more and more like Alfred may actually be able to pull this off. On one hand, it was exciting. They'd been sick for so long, and the energy of the campaign was really helping a lot. If Alfred won, he'd be able to tell how he was doing, just by how he felt. He wouldn't have to worry about getting sick, and it was likely Matthew wouldn't either. On the other, there was something frightening about the precedence it could set. What if other nations decided to do the same?

"Nation! Nation…You have no idea of the personal connection I now feel. People of America, our nation has a name and it is Alfred F Jones. Our nation is on his way to becoming our nation's President. But! The Democrats will have none of this. The latest commercials being run by the National Democratic Committee are _attacking _none other than…his birth certificate. Now Nation, let's take a moment to rewind to major issue of the 2008 election…"

"…_Not an American citizen…"_

"…_Not born in America…"_

"…_Cannot provide a valid birth certificate…"_

" When you are around as long as our nation, it is understandable that things will get lost. But it's not like he's been hiding his birth certificate, unlike a certain current President who shall go unnamed. So, I took a trip over to Washington, D.C., to go directly to the source. Tell me Nation, how many people can say their birth certificate is on display at…The National Archives."

Matthew rolled his eyes he watched the scene cut to host walking down the halls of the Archives with a museum representative. He contemplated waking Alfred, knowing that he loved watching this show, but he could catch it later on a rerun. He needed his sleep right now.

"So, have you ever met the candidate? Alfred Jones?" The representative shook her head.

"No, I have not." Colbert nodded as he walked with her.

"So he doesn't come to look at his birth certificate?" The representative blinked and shook her head.

"Not when I've been here, no." Colbert stopped and motioned to someone offscreen.

"Well, I hope you don't mind, that I've gone back in time to bring in my own historian to determine the accuracy of this document." He moved his arm around the new person's shoulder as the representative gave an embarrassed laugh. "I'd like you to meet Benjamin Franklin, one of our founding father AND one of the drafters of the most important birth certificate in the history of the world. The one that trumps all the others."

Matthew rolled his eyes as the skit continued, with the Franklin re-enactor commenting on the legitimacy of the document and the representative unsure of what to make of the situation. He turned his attention back to watching Alfred sleep. He wondered what would have happened if he had agreed to be his First Lady from the start. Well, obviously they'd be calling it something other than First Lady. But there was an implication there, wasn't there? Would they have had to get married? And now Russia was asking about it. Was he being serious? Would it become another issue for them to have to deal with? He couldn't understand how it was an issue at all. Sometimes he just couldn't understand the way the people of his brother's country worked and thought. Alfred did though, and that was the important part.

"And there you have it Nation! Controversy solved! And speaking of controversy, I have another for you. People magazine has recently released their list of the top 10 most eligible bachelors in the country. And of course, our fair nation has been ranked among them. Yes. You heard me right. i Among/i them. Not at the top of the list. Now, if I can just get an image up here- thank you. Alright. Now you look at those spacious skies and amber waves of grain and tell me that you aren't giddier than a schoolgirl going to the prom with the star quarterback. I know I am." He turned in his chair, looking at the camera. "Coming up! He may not be giddier than a schoolgirl, but—"

The screen faded to black and Matthew set the remote down with a silent click on the table. He shifted Alfred in his lap, slowly lifting him as he moved from under him. He set him down on the sofa and moved to the guest room down the hall, picking one of the pillows off the bed. He carefully slid the pillow under Alfred's head, readjusting the blanket. Once he was sure that Alfred would be somewhat comfortable on the sofa for the evening, he straightened out the papers on the table. After a quick look through the room, he flipped off the lights, moving up to Alfred's room to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

America for President 10

"I'm sorry, New York. I fell asleep." Matthew looked up from his checklist as Alfred walked into the living room. He was apparently on the phone with New York. He watched as Alfred picked up the remote, flipping on the TV. It was still on Comedy Central, and it seemed to pick up where Matthew had turned it off the night before. He sighed, shaking his head. They were supposed to be on the road already, heading to the airport. He had to be in California for a speech that evening. Before he could comment on that, however, there was a knock on the door.

"_So, New York…is that really your name? What did you do when you were New Amsterdam? Wasn't that confusing?"_

"Yes, I'm watching it now! Can't you hear it in the background?"

Matthew rolled his eyes and got up, walking over to the door, pulling it open. He blinked a few times as a bouquet of sunflowers was pushed in his face.

"Ivan? What are you doing here?" He pushed the flowers back to him and frowned. He already had a pretty good idea of why Russia was there.

"I have been reading about the American election process and want to come help my sunflower become the President." Matthew blinked as Russia gently pushed him out of his way as he walked inside, over to where America was still on the phone.

"_So Yorkie - do you mind if I call you that? I will anyway. So Yorkie, you call yourself the Empire State. What kind of empire you trying to make and why haven't you gotten much further than, well, New York? I mean, those guys in Jersey are-" _

"_Whoa there. Don't finish that. My sister will have me on the line with an earful in a second. She's really sensitive to the jokes about her."_

"No, I agree, that was the best thing to do. It's…oh hey Ivan! Hey, I gotta go. Can I give you a call later? Yes, I'll watch the whole interview." Alfred hung up the phone and looked over, blinking as the bouquet of flowers was presented to him.

"I heard you would be leaving today, da? I am so glad I managed to catch you before you started your cross-country tour! Will you really be visiting all 50 states in just 3 weeks?" Alfred nodded, still staring at the flowers.

"Yeah, uh…are…those…?" Matthew rolled his eyes as he went upstairs to get their bags.

"Da! These are for you, my precious sunflower! I realized it was silly to ask to be your First Lady, when I have not even properly courted you! So, I will be assisting you on your campaign! That is what a loving wife of the candidate does, da? I have been watching old news clips." Alfred blinked again as the flowers were pushed into his chest.

"You're…what? Wait…you were being serious?" Both looked up as there was a loud thump upstairs. "That's just Mattie. We're kinda running late here." He took the flowers from Russia's hands without waiting for an answer to his question, walking out to the kitchen. "Oh shit! Mattie! The time! We're gonna miss our flight!" Russia stood in his place, a soft smile on his features as he watched the two brothers rushing around.

"Alfred…Alfred." Russia sighed. "America!" He reached out and grabbed Alfred's collar as he blew by him carrying 2 large suitcases.

"Urk! Geez! You could have choked me! What is it?" Alfred put down one of his bags to rub at his throat as he glared at the taller nation, who sighed.

"I am going to go with you, da? I want to help my sunflower fulfill his dream of being elected." Russia held up his plane ticket, smiling.

Matthew scowled as he watched the two from where he was waiting by the door. He was helping Alfred and thus far that had been enough. They didn't need any more nations getting involved in their business. Calling Russia to help prepare for that interview was obviously a mistake. He had to get rid of him somehow, before he started putting strange ideas in his brother's impressionable mind. A smirk slowly crossed his features as an idea came to him. He had a perfect way to do it. He set the thought aside as Alfred rushed out, flanked by Russia, who had taken his bags and was heading to the waiting vehicle. He'd have to save it for later.


	11. Chapter 11

America for President 11

AN: I feel one of these is necessary here. Alfred's political views are not my own. I tried to go very moderate in all of his views, so he was neither one party nor the other. Additionally, anything Alfred talks about is in the future tense. I have no idea what the future holds, so I tried to make that as ambiguous as possible. Ie: The Supreme Court could have gone either way.

Matthew sighed and closed his phone as soon as he saw the check indicating his email had sent. Belarus was a nation he wasn't particularly fond of talking to, but desperate times called for such measures. Not that he would say he was desperate; not by a long shot. He was just being cautious. He couldn't let anything get in the way of Alfred's success. He promised he would help him win. He looked over at Alfred, who was smiling as he talked to Russia about something. Russia, he noted, was straightening out Alfred's already straight tie, and neither of them seemed to notice. He rolled his eyes as he walked over.

"Alright Al, remember, the state is _still_ horribly divided on the gay marriage issue, regardless of what the Supreme Court said. They're going to be interested in what your thoughts on the rights of gays to marry are, and you're bound to get at least one question about it." Alfred nodded as he slowly turned his gaze over to Matthew.

"Uh, right…Anything else I should expect?" Matthew looked at his checklist.

"Other things that seem to be big issues to the state are the deficit, both state and federal, immigration issues…" Alfred nodded, waving a hand.

"Right, of course." Alfred scratched the back of his head. Did he have a policy on anything? He'd been avoiding giving any kind of a solid answer up until now. Everything in his mind seemed to lean to one party or the other. That was the point of being a moderate in the Independence Party, he supposed. He didn't expect everyone to like him, or agree with him. And he wasn't going to soapbox this. He couldn't guarantee his ideas were any better than anything out there already. But he would know – would feel – if it was working. He could shift course easily; more so than someone following party lines. Would that be enough for the people though? Could he sell himself on flexibility to try new ideas, when other parties gained their success on strong, unmovable, and ultimately divisive lines? A hand in his hair broke him out of his thoughts.

"You are messing up your hair, right before you go out to talk to your people. That will not do, da? Now is not the time to question yourself. It does not suit you." Alfred looked at the owner of the hand and smiled.

"Thanks Ivan." He looked at Matthew and nodded a bit before walking out to face the citizens from the state of California. They had gathered at the campus of the University of California in Berkeley to get his answers to their questions, and he would do his best to provide them. He walked out, and waved, welcoming the mixed response from the large crowd.

Matthew turned as he walked out and frowned. "I don't know what you're trying to pull, _Russia_, but just remember that he asked _me_ to be his First Lady, no matter how much you beg." Russia just smiled and brought a hand down on his head.

"That may be so, _Canada, _but you also turned him down. He told me about how you punched him. It stings, da? Realizing you wanted something you had thrown away? How does the saying go? Ah. One man's trash is another man's treasure, da?" Matthew scowled, but any retort was cut off by clapping outside as a student approached the microphone. He turned, looking to see how Alfred would handle his questions.

"Mr. Jones…as you know, for the past few years, there has been a lot of controversy across the country, but especially here in California regarding Proposition 8. Recently, there have been allegations that you are in a homosexual relationship with Canada, so I was wondering what your stance on gay marriage is, and if it will affect your policies."

Alfred blinked a few times. "Wow. That's a loaded question, huh? But you know, I'm not gonna lie about anything here. I'm going to just be straight up with all of you, and if you don't like what you hear, that's fine. I'm not changing who I am everywhere I go to get votes. As to the allegations, there is some truth to that. He was, in fact, the first person I asked to be whatever the male equivalent of a First Lady would be, but he turned me down." He paused as a murmur ran through the crowd. "And that's fine. I wouldn't want to get married to anyone, male or female, just to have a trophy figure by my side. That's not why I asked Canada, either. I think that you really have to love someone to ask them something like that, because that's a huge commitment. A promise."

Matthew blinked as he listened. Alfred was promising to be committed to him, and he turned it down. His hands clenched at his sides. He glanced over at Russia, who was just listening quietly, an impassive expression on his face. Alfred started talking again and he turned to listen.

"As to my stance on gay marriage…who cares? As far as I'm concerned, marriage is different from matrimony. Marriage is a function of the state for civil purposes. Matrimony is a religious ceremony. One of the sacraments, even. So, if your religion says that gay matrimony is wrong, that's your church's stance and your moral decision. But that shouldn't be law. As for my policies? I think there are much bigger problems the country is facing right now, than whether or not people can get married." He looked around and pointed to a woman as the crowd murmured in mixed approval.

The woman walked over to the microphone. "We have one of the biggest state deficits in the country. What are you going to do to help us and reduce the astronomical national debt?"

Alfred rubbed his forehead. "Well, of course everyone is concerned with the state of the economy. It's why I decided to run for office in the first place. Us nations, when our economy is flagging, we get sick. I've been sick for a long time now. Behold the wonders of makeup and charisma!" He grinned as the crowd applauded and chuckled. "But seriously, I think that what we have to do is encourage businesses to come back to the country, instead of outsourcing work. And I think people have to realize that money doesn't come out of nowhere. Everyone wants the government to provide this, that and the other thing, but no one wants to give any money for it to happen. So instead we run up these huge debts that we have to pay off. I'm not saying I'm raising taxes to astronomical proportions, though I'm sure that the media will spin it that way. Once we can figure out how to balance the national budget, the states' will follow suit, I'm sure. If not, at least our slate will be cleared to dig in our heels and help you address it. I don't want to leave anyone hanging."

Alfred walked over to the empty stool in the middle of the room and sat down, moving his hand in a sweeping motion over the crowd. "We are the _United_ States. United we stand, divided we fall. I really believe that. One state's problems aren't their own. They are everyone's. California won't be forgotten because another state has a company offering a bit more money for my personal use."

He sighed, slouching a bit in his seat as he thought, before looking up again. "I've already said it before, and I'll say it again. I'm not accepting corporate donations. I am using the public election fund for my campaign. You won't see hundreds of commercials from me. I'm not driving a personal envoy of my crew around in tour buses. I have volunteer staff members, who are working in offices across the country because they want to see me win. I have Canada, the best personal assistant and campaign manager the world could ever ask for. I only regret that he's not American or I'd be begging him on hands and knees to be my Vice President. Now, I have Russia, who has been trying to help me understand the world's problem with me, and understand the issues that get overlooked here sometimes. That's my staff. I am relying on you, all of you, to decide whether you like me or not; whether you think I can do it. Can I do what I have to, to keep myself from getting sick – keep this nation from failing? If you think so, tell your friends and family about me. Ask them to do the same. I hope to find out more about you tonight. I hope you learn more about me. Write me letters, send me emails, and make videos on the internet to let me know what is important to you."

Matthew nodded as he listened, making notes on his answers. He wasn't sure that Alfred was entirely answering the questions people were asking him, but at least he was being truthful about what he _was_ saying.


End file.
